Objection!
[ MUSIC: OFF ]
Internet Explorer - [Busted]
Notepad - rynkitty_hoofboots.txt
12:00 PM
SECURITY STATUS: COMPROMISED // USER: THE_ARCHITECT
[!] HIGH-FIDELITY BREACH [!]
the data-stream has collapsed. rynkitty has been busted for the third time in a non-linear timeline. the hoofboots have achieved self-awareness. proceed with objection-level caution.

THE WATCHERS: THE BIOMETRIC CAGE v2.0

NOW WITH 400% MORE PSYCHIC DAMAGE

0x01: TARGET_ID - rynkitty

status: in pursuit of gay baby status
gear: enchanted hoofboots (+5 snark)

0x08 - THE NAKED SOURCE

while(server.active) {
  monitor(subject_5);
  if(is_busted(subject_5)) {
    deploy_snark(COMPUTOR_LEVEL_MAX);
  }
}
[ HOVER FOR THE TRUTH ]
the architect is actually a collection of paradox interactive save files. Basingstoke is a simulation running on a Windows Vista kernel.